Dolly Parton has come clean – that is, really rather dirty – and revealed that she has been sleeping in a full face of make-up since the 1980s, “partly because of the earthquakes” – “partly because of the earthquakes” being my new favourite excuse for everything.
In her hot-off-the-press tome, Behind the Seams: My Life in Rhinestones, the singer, 77, writes: “I’m not heading out on the streets without make-up in case there are cameras out there! I’m going to be ready to go!” She does the same thing back home in Tennessee because “I don’t want to go to bed looking like a hag with Carl” (Carl Dean, her husband). All in, she confirms that the world will only see her bare-faced when she is dead.
The Dollster – surely she’s now St Dolly? – and her obsession with the cosmetic arts are a joke she’s very much in on. Yet many women, and some chaps, will be experiencing a #hardrelate. In my own case, I actually rather enjoy removing the stuff at night for that ritualistic, clean-slated feeling. However, at 52, I’ve sported a full face every day since the age of 11. Now I think about it, this coincided with my periods kicking off. Was there an implicit: “I’ve got the crap that goes with being a woman, I may as well enjoy the fun part?” Either way, four decades on, both are still with me.
