If Kim Kardashian gets her way – something for which, of course, she has form – permanently perky nipples are set to be, err, big this winter, whatever the temperature. Announcing to her 364 million Instagram followers the launch of her “Ultimate Nipple Bra” from her shapewear line Skims last week, she took the opportunity to model the bra herself (34C if you were wondering). It features special moulded “nipples”, giving two distinct points to the female form.
The video sees the 43-year-old faux-tapping away at a computer, Business Barbie style, before standing up to jab a projector screen featuring an illustration of how the bra works with a wooden pointer in some kind of soft-porn schoolteacher roleplay.
“I’m introducing a brand new bra with a built-in nipple, so no matter how hot it is, you’ll always look cold,” she says breathily. “Some days are hard, but these nipples are harder.” She also manages to incorporate a reference to the climate crisis: “Unlike the icebergs, these… [she pauses to admire her rock-hard nips] aren’t going anywhere.”
